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In a delayed kick-off due to the Creepy Crawlies speedy winger Centipede not allowing enough time to put on his football boots, the match finally got underway watched by a tense and excited crowd.

From the start, it was clear that the Crawlies were going to be over-run by a lively insect side who were 5 goals up after 5 minutes.

Chasing on to a loose back pass by Worm, Mosquito smartly nipped in to snatch a first minute lead. It was not long before Insect fans went in to ecstasy as Moth easily rounded the last defender Caterpillar to slip the ball past the out-stretched legs of Spider and into the corner of the net to make the score 2-0.

To make matters worse, Crawlies were constantly denied any chances due to the striker Snail moving up the field of play in to an attacking position. Snail was continually caught off-side due to his unfortunate lack of pace in getting back on-side in time for the next attack. There was no option but to substitute Snail in the eighth minute.

If this were not enough, Centipede put through his own net in the eleventh minute. After the match, he explained that 50 of his feet were set to kick the ball forward and out of danger but sadly he lost coordination and the ball ended up at the set of feet that were kicking backwards.

Although Insects were clearly on top, Wasp was sent off in the 20th minute for a disgraceful six footed tackle on Earwig. No one questioned the wisdom of match referee Owl in red carding Wasp.

By the 17th minute it was clear that the Crawlies were going to be badly beaten. More heartache was to follow for the Crawlies fans.

Crawlies defender Slug had to be replaced. Due to his lack of pace, Slug has to set off on a sliding tackle at least five minutes beforehand.

However, Slugs usual good timing deserted him on this occasion missing his tackle by a good 2 minutes. Unable to stop, his momentum carried him off the field of play coming to a halt courtesy of a pitch side advertising sign. Slug was taken to hospital for a precautionary x-ray.

Although Insects ran out easy winners with Moth bagging 30 goals, Crawlies were not to be denied a consolation goal from Centipede in the dying seconds of the game.

The Insect manager praised his team after the match. “The lads showed lots of character.”

The Crawlies team were locked in the dressing room for an hour after the match.

Their manager said 'I had a few harsh words to say about our performance today. I would have liked to have said to them that I could not fault their skill, effort and commitment. However, this was not possible. They were in fact useless and pathetic.'

The Teams

Daddy Long Legs, Honey bee, Honey bee A, Dragonfly, House Fly,Butterfly, Moth, Wasp, Hover Fly, Mosquito, Ladybird Subs. Flea, Green Fly (not used)

Spider, Worm, Caterpillar, Earwig, Beetle, Scorpion, Centipede, Slug, Snail, Woodlice, Millipede.Subs. Woodlice C, Caterpillar Q.


Moth:2,4,5,10,15,17,18,23,24,27,31,33,35,40,44,47,51, 55,58,65,67,70,75,77,79,81,84,86,88,90.
Mosquito: 1, 8, 20, 32,43, 49, 56, 72, 82, 87
House Fly: 3, 6, 12, 14, 22, 30, 37, 42, 48, 59, 89
Ladybird: 78, 66
Centipede (Own Goal):11


Wasp 20